“Why? Why should I give you the satisfaction of listening to anything you have to say? Give me one good reason why I should do that? Why shouldn’t I just walk out that door, walk out on you just like you walked out on me when I was born?” He lashed out, completely unwilling to hear what he had to say and completely uninterested in giving the man who, in his eyes, had very effectively, very soundly ripped his world apart in what seemed like the blink of an eye.
“I did what I did for a lot of reasons,” Victor answered nervously as he rose from the couch and walked over to his son, stopping a few feet away from him. “None of them were good or right, or even justified or justifiable. At first I was hurt and angry because of the way things ended between your mother and I and because of the way it affected my relationship with you.”
“What relationship? I never heard from you! You came to see me a handful of times, if that!” Victor Jr. spat out as he glared at his father as though he were scum!
“At least you admit it.”
Undaunted by his son’s abrasive attitude, Victor continued. “When your mother and I found out she was pregnant with you, we had very different reactions.”
“I’ll say, she stuck around to take care of me, you took off the first chance you got!”
“That’s not true! Listen, when your mother and I first found out about you, we had very different reactions. She was ecstatic at the thought of becoming a mother. I was worried about the implications it could have for both of you.”
“Implications?” Victor Jr. asked confused and starting to calm down a little bit.
“I did some investigating, talked to some doctors, your mother and I both did.”
“And? What did you find out?” Victor Jr. asked, his curiosity piqued.
“They said there was a good chance that you would be born blind, or that you would be blind by the time you were a teenager.” Tears swam in his eyes as he thought back to that time.
“I don’t get it, what does that have to do with anything?” Victor Jr. asked, still very confused, but for the first time, willing to listen to what his father had to say.
“Your mother and I couldn’t see eye to eye. When she thought about the situation, when she looked at the fact that she was pregnant, she couldn’t see anything but the happiness, the pure joy of having a child. I couldn’t get past the fact that there was a chance that you could be blind. I got a glimpse of the obstacles, the pain, the hardship and the prejudice that came with your mother being blind. I didn’t want that for you, that’s the last thing I ever wanted for you! Your mother on the other hand couldn’t see what the big deal was. After you were born, we continued to grow apart.”
“What happened? Didn’t you and Mom love each other?” he asked genuinely curious.
“Yes, I did, I loved your mother very much. And I know she loved me, perhaps more than I deserved.” Victor admitted as he blinked back tears.
“Then, what happened?”
“We tried to make it work between us, but it was no use. Our lives were just too different, our backgrounds were too different. Eventually we decided that it was best for us to go our separate ways.”
By this time, Victor Jr. had completely given up on trying to fight his father and decided to listen to what he had to say. “So, it wasn’t because of the pregnancy that you and Mom split up?”
“No, you being born had nothing to do with that.”
“Then what happened? Why didn’t you tell me you were my father before this? Why didn’t Mom tell me?”
With a pained expression, Victor replied “After Cliff died, I brought you and your mother back to Genoa City to live with me. Around that time, I started to get involved with a woman named Diane Jenkins. At first it wasn’t serious. But, I realize now that, by doing that, I hurt your mother very much because she thought, I gave her the impression,” Victor corrected himself ruefully, regretfully as he walked back to the couch with his son following behind. “I gave her the impression that there was another chance in store for us, a chance for us to get back what we used to have.”
“But, you never meant to hurt Mom.”
“But, I did. In the end, that’s what matters.” Victor couldn’t help the tears that slipped silently down his cheeks as he thought back to that time. “That’s when your Mother decided it was best for you and her to go back home and move on with your lives. She thought it was best that you not know that you were my son. Frankly, I can’t blame her for thinking that. I hurt her very deeply and she didn’t really have any reason to trust me at that point.”
“But, you’d never hurt a kid, especially your own.”
“When you got here you were ready to rip me apart, you thought I was this horrible monster, and now you’re telling me I wouldn’t hurt a child, especially my own child. What happened? What changed?”
“Mom talked to me a little bit about your relationship with her. It’s obvious from what she said that, at least in the beginning, you really did love each other. Let’s just say I’m starting to see things a little differently. I’m starting to see you a little differently.”
Contented with finding some hope at last, Victor smiled softly as he let his son’s words sink in. Then he added earnestly, “You’re right, we loved each other a great deal.”
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Nikki was filling Hope in on the situation with Victor. “Now you see why I was so adamant that Victor Jr. find out that Victor’s his father before it’s too late.”
“Yeah, tell me something. How’s he really doing?” Hope asked, already knowing the answer.
“Oh, you know Victor. He’s trying to put on this brave front and act like nothing’s wrong, but I know deep down he’s terrified. I can see it in his eyes. Every time I look at him, I can see how terrified he is that he won’t make it. And, just between you and I, so am I. It’s not just for me, but the children too.” Nikki’s voice was barely a whisper as she fingered her coffee cup, unable to look at Hope.
“I’m sure Victoria and Nicholas are devastated.”
“Yes, although they’re also furious that they weren’t told sooner.”
“You got it. He insisted they not be told. He didn’t want to worry them unnecessarily.” Nikki replied, anger seeping its way into her voice.
“Classic Victor Newman.”
“Amen to that!” Nikki replied with a small smile.
“What about Abby? I heard about you and Victor adopting her awhile back. How’s she handling all this?” Hope asked carefully.
“She’s terrified, she doesn’t want to lose her father. Really, who can blame her after what she’s been through?” Nikki replied honestly.
“Nikki, I don’t mean to pry, but I get the feeling there’s something else going on here.”
“You’re right. It’s not just Victoria, Nicholas and Abby I’m worried about. Hope, I’m pregnant.” Nikki finally confided before filling her in on the situation with her twins.
“No wonder you’re feeling the way you are. Anybody would be terrified under the circumstances, even if there weren’t a child or, in this case two, on the way.” Hope replied quietly, sympathetically.
Even though she had picked up the note of sympathy in Hope’s voice, Nikki ignored it for one simple reason; she simply had no more energy to fight it. And, what little energy she still had despite all that had happened, she was intent on stockpiling to make sure her husband and family got through this latest crisis.